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I feel like I’ve experienced a little bit of a revelation as
of late. I’ve been feeling so frustrated with where I’m supposed to be right
now: school wise, life wise, etc; when suddenly I started to feel a peace about
the whole thing. I realized that the only things God wants out of me right now
is love and compassion for others, and devotion to Him. It doesn’t matter where
I’m doing these things from (Western or Trinity), how I’m doing them (From
church? From a bible study? In my classes?), or any of that. All that matters
is that I’m living my life trying to be like Christ. Suddenly everything else
started falling away, and I just am finally feeling like I can hand over
control of all the little things that don’t make sense to me right now. God’s
got it figured out, and all He’s asking of me is that I strive to follow, and
live out His word while I’m here.
"I’m giving You my dreams
I’m laying down my rights
I’m giving up my pride
For the promise of new life And I surrender all to You
All to You"
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| I really want to go home right now. They're having a snow day tomorrow, and yet I'm stuck here, drowning in the rain. Northwest living is rough! Haha.
So I've been feeling really convicted lately about trying to appreciate the many ways that God demonstrates His love for us. I just feel like growing up in the Christian faith kind of made me take a lot of huge events for granted. I talked before about big events like the parting of the Red Sea, and the plagues, but this time it's different, and much more personal. I was brought back to remembering how huge it is that Jesus Christ died, for ME.
At church on Sunday our pastor talked about Jesus washing the disciples feet. This is definitely one of the stories I heard a lot as a child, and didn't really apply to my own life. I started going to camp, and I have this vivid memory of one summer, where our counselors actually did wash our feet. Suddenly, I was presented with what an amazing thing that truly is. They didn't giggle, they didn't make fun of our toes, they truly demonstrated their servant hearts. I thought to myself of how the disciples must have felt. Jesus, the Son of GOD wanted to wash their dirty, smelly feet, and he wouldn't let them say no. He told Peter that unless he washed him, Peter had NO part with him (John 13). This image has stuck with me throughout the years, and when I read that the sermon this last Sunday would be on the same passage, I was reminded of how much I loved it. One thing I hadn't noticed ever before was in John 13:3:
"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;"
So God has given all power to Jesus at this point, He is able to do whatever He wants to. He knows that Judas is going to betray him, He knows Peter is going to deny him, but you know what he does, rather then slap them both upside the head like anyone else would do?
"So he [Jesus] got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet."
Jesus Christ is given ALL authority, and what does He do with it? He washes His disciples feet. He wants them to see this servant heart, and to go out and be examples by doing the same thing. There's one thing that I don't think I focus on nearly enough. Jesus Christ, had power, God's power. I don't know the exact theology behind it, but that being said, it stands to seem that He could've backed out of His role as the sacrifice at any time. But you know what, He DIDN'T. He suffered through that cross, for ME (and everyone else). For my sins, my doubts, my anger, my not relying completely on him, my selfishness, my whatever...Jesus Christ suffered on a cross for all of these things so I wouldn't have to. In closing, I heard this song on the radio the other day and it really just put a good mental image in my head of what a sacrifice Jesus truly is. It's good, it's old, get it!
FFH--On My Cross
I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so
Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so
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| Another hiatus....but another random thought process of Elizabeth here... So I was watching Prince of Egypt with my roommate Jaimi last night, and was once again reminded of how much I looooove the Exodus story, but also how amazing God is. A burning bush...plagues...the parting of the Red Sea...all these have been engrained in my mind since Sunday School as a kid, so I think they started to lose a little bit of their luster. When in fact, now that I dwell on them for just a little longer, I realize more and more of how many miracles God has done in this world. It's good to just dwell on that for a few minutes I think...a burning bush that never burns up all the way, an entire sea parted, 10 plagues that even the so called "gods" of the Egyptians couldn't recreate, WOW! After the movie was over, Jaimi and I were talking about how the Israelites could possibly go back to complaining so quickly after all these miracles they witnessed. Or how they could be so fearful that Pharaohs army was following them into the parted sea, when they knew God was powerful enough to part it. Now while I could sit here and say "I'd never do that...I'd never be afraid...I'd never not trust God", I know that's not true because I do it everyday of my life. Complain about one thing God didn't do for me, while He's performing miracles all around. I saw a nice connection over the past couple days, because after watching this movie, a devotion I was reading was about a lot of the same ideas. In Exodus 32 we see that the Israelites were getting so sick of waiting for Moses to come back from the mountain, that they just go to town creating a golden calf to worship in place of God. Moses gets so angry, but it all comes back to the heart of the issue, these Israelites are disappointed in God, they're disappointed He isn't solving all of their problems, but more importantly they're disappointed that He isn't exactly the God they wanted Him to be. We see this everywhere in the Bible, starting here, and ending with the Jews disappointed because Jesus isn't the mighty warrior king they longed for. So then I think to myself, what exactly do I want God to be, and along the same line, what do I want Him to do for me. I started writing out a list and noticed that most of my answers had to do with, yes, things that were along the lines of God doing stuff in my life, God being more real in my life, basically just looking for a present God. While I do think these things are important, one has to be careful that those aren't all the things they look for in God. Because if He isn't as present as I'd like, then my faith is going to be on pretty shaky ground. So then what should I look to God for? I do want Him to be present in my life, I just can't expect that He's going to actually call down from the Heavens and be like "Hey Liz, go here...do this with your life...that's what I have planned for you" Oh and how I wish this was how things worked, haha, but I guess at that point we'd lose all freedom. I guess, if nothing else, this gives me a reminder to trust that God does do big and amazing things, but He also does little things, where He's working in each and every one of us everyday. Teaching us to grow, teaching us how to love, just teaching us how to live. So rather than putting God in some box, I guess I just need to let him be the omnipotent God He truly is. Again, don't know if anyone reads this anymore, but if you do, I hope that spoke to you, and if not, thanks for reading anyway. Haha. :) | | |
| So I took a long hiatus from this baby, and I'll probably take another one after I'm done with this, but I was feeling particularly inspired, (as well as procrastinating the making of a certain work schedule) and alas, here I am. Quick life update: back in Juneau, working at the mining company again (I haven't figured out if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet), and I'm transferring from Trinity to Western Washington University in the fall. I am beyond excited to see what God decides to do with me there because I have definitely been feeling an incredible push towards this school. While I am sad to leave some of the amazing people I've met up at Trinity, I know that they'll still be close enough for me to visit, and even if it never is the same, they have definitely helped to shape me into who I am right now.
Anyway, I could go on and on about how excited/scared I am about this transfer, but that's not what I originally got on here for. So I've been back home for about a month and a half now (wow, time flies), and I've been trying to be disciplined about going to church regularly as well as reading my Bible and praying on a daily basis. Obviously, I've slipped up, as it usually goes, but in the last couple weeks I have just felt this need to be in the Word constantly. While praying is still quite the issue, I've been journaling and reading my Bible and I can already see a distinct change, so praise God for that! 
So last week at church we sang Blessed Be Your Name, and it was one of those times where while I was singing I actually started thinking about what the words actually meant. We sang the same song at the weekly meeting on Wednesday so I figured God was probably trying to tell me to listen up to the words. So usually when I sing this song I'm drawn to the part that goes like this:
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
And while I could basically talk about how much I love those lyrics for days upon days, it wasn't what stood out. What stood out to me was this:
Every blessing you pour out, I turn back to praise.
Holy Cow! It's hard for me to even think about how much God blesses me, let alone turning them all back to praise for Him! So I've been praying for that lately, that He would help me to not only be aware of how I am being blessed on a daily basis, but remembering to praise Him for all of those amazing blessings in my life. My family, my best friend, my other amazing friends, and even my job (hehe) and all the wonderful people I've met there. Basically God is spectacular, and I feel bad for not recognizing that more often. And I feel bad for not trusting Him more when it comes to my own life. I have such a bad habit of overanalyzing everything and stressing over the little stuff when He totally has that under control, and that is a good thing to remember. Anywhoozle, I'm not sure who even reads this anymore, but I hope that little lyric spoke to somebody else. | | |
| There is a stinkbug sitting on the inside of the screen of our window, if we open the window he will be IN our room. I'd never even seen a stinkbug before, it just looked big and icky, then Jaimi informed me that it also lets off quite a smell. I miss big mosquitos in alaska, at least they don't SMELL. So basically our screen isn't on the window all the way and we also got a bee in here today. The window is now shut and its quite warm out and I don't know what to do. I talked to maintenence and they're going to come in the next couple days to fix that but dang its annoying!
What did I do all weekend you ask? Well let's see. Friday a few of us girls went down to SEATTLE and saw shawn mcdonald and paul wright in concert...aww I'm marrying Paul Wright, he is so perfect. But yes, AMAZING concert if I do say so myself. All of the singers have such amazing voices, God sure does give some people quite the gift of singing that's for sure. So Saturday Kira and Lindsay came up, it was soo good to see my best friend again. It's going to be weird being apart this year, but I think ultimately it will be really good for the both of us.
Which brings me to trying to figure out where the crap I want to go next year. I realize I shouldn't be stressing about that quite yet, but I really don't know what to do. It's one of those things where I'm just waiting for God to TELL me what to do. In the words of my friend Joe, "God just needs to start talkin". Haha. So if you guys can just keep me in your prayers regarding what I'm going to do about school next year that'd be awesome.
I also went golfing this weekend...that was quite the event. It wasn't real golfing, but it wasn't just miniature golf either...it was "tap ins" so a little mini 18 hole golf place and you can only use the putter. If you know me more than a little bit you will know that my athletic abilities are severely lacking, and that I also get really competitive. Both of those together led to quite the mess. But we went and ate at boston pizza afterwords so that makes all things better. :) Food always does!
So that's about it, other than my classes,not much else going onnnn. Hope everyone is having a grrreat week! | | |
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